Monday, March 4, 2013

Coyote Very Very Ugly

Good afternoon! We are baack from the Lone Star state. And it was quite a journey for Tink and me. In fact, it all began......

At 4 am on Friday morning (naturally)...why can't we fly at a reasonable hour?

Ok, we got to the airport late, of course....never a dull moment trying to get through security without being patted down. I always pick the wrong line and find myself behind a family of 8 children under the age of 10 with one toddler who refuses to walk through the security tunnel. Yep, I could have knocked him over and ran in front of them with the people behind me cheering me on, but there are cops carrying guns at the other end of security, so, I find myself trying to be patient.
 

Yet, as close as we are to missing the plane, I begin considering that I am perspiring so much that I am going to need a change of clothes. After the toddler was finally dragged through the security gate by his parents, Tink and I ran as fast as we could weaving in and out of the crowd (yeah, at 6am, there are other nut cases traveling). Grabbing a cup of coffee, we arrived as they were boarding zone 2......that's us...let's go. Actually, we did not have to rush, because dad arranged the tickets and we headed to the last row of the plane...that's right....by the bathrooms and cranky stewardesses.

Once in Atlanta, we had an easy plane change and were on the road to Texas. Tink and I were separated this time and she sat next to an elderly couple Barbara and Leo who were on their way to witness their great grandchildren's christening. During the flight, Barbara decided to buy Leo and Tink some Pringles chips much to Leo's dismay. Since they were a bit older, Leo yelled into Barbara's ear, we are not taking on any charity cases! Mortified, Tink tried to turn down the chips but sweet Barbara insisted. For the rest of the trip, she listened to Leo badger poor Barbara. Oy!

Naturally, our arrangements had us arriving in Texas one hour before the start of the first game....again...pressure to get from the last row of the airplane to the Hertz counter for the rental car. The woman who attended the kiosk was very sweet as she carried on a conversation with the three people in front of us as if they were old friends.



The two guys behind me and I developed our strategy. Once it was our turn, we were going to tell her that we were visiting family to avoid the conversation of how to get out of the airport and which restaurants were the best in town. It was finally my turn....I said hello....but did not fully make eye contact.....as she started to quiz me as to why I was in Texas, I knew that if I told her the truth, I would be there another 15 minutes explaining my plans and then she would give me a map and mark it up with a yellow highlighter. So, I sort of lied and shared that we had family in the area (not necessarily breaking an commandment) and did not need directions. As sweet as she could be, she asked if I wanted a Prius. Dang, yeah! Those cars are so amazing! So, Tink and I loaded the new Prius and headed out to highway 10.....

The weather was spectacular as we zipped in our Prius to the ball park. My phone has this nifty navigation app that guided us to the stadium with ease. Upon arriving, we made it for the National Anthem and then saw the birthday boy standing at attention with his hat over his heart. After the 'home of the brave', he looked up and tipped his cap at us. This is a far cry from freshman year when he would have not made eye contact nor acknowledged that he had parents and a sister. As far as he was concerned, he hatched from an egg in an incubator.

And so, here we are at the start of the new season....just a few important points before proceeding with the story.

Point 1: Last year, on the same date which happened to be Buddy's birthday, he was told that he had a torn labrum and torn rotator cuff by one of the top surgeons in the city. Further, he would never play again nor make it to the major leagues...'cause a very small percentage of players actually get there....then my son, in his saltiest self utters: "%&#)# u" at the surgeon. Yes, a moment that lives in time.
Point 2: The coaches did not think that he would be able to rehab back for the season therefore his name was not on the air plane ticket but the name of another team mate.
Point 3: He had surgery to fix his ligament strain less than a year ago, therefore the surgeon was completely wrong with his diagnosis.

Ok, so we are back in the stadium and the game proceeded slowly. But with the wonderful weather, we did not care. We had our Skittles and goldfish crackers and were as happy as could be....

Keep in mind, BP mom was written because my son is currently in the bullpen. So, I wait and wait and wait until he either gets the call to come into the game or not. On Friday, he did not get the call.....so we watched the game and took photos of his profile and back of his shirt. The team won the game which they called the "Battle of the Marriott" since the other team was staying there, too.

After the game, Tink and I headed to the hotel and checked in. It was time for happy hour and to celebrate the big kid's 21st birthday. Actually, I was ambivalent about this one, since I was uncomfortable buying the kid a beer since I have only bought Sprites or Cokes in the past. But it is time to move on....and he was 21. I should know, 'cause we met each other on March 1, 1992. So, there was no doubt that he was my kid.

After happy hour, we went to a Mexican restaurant and I bought him a Corona with lime. He was thrilled when he was carded. As he handed the card to our server, Jesus (sounds like Hey-Zeus), his face lit up but poor Jesus was struggling to do the math. It's OK, Jesus, today is his 21st birthday.

Hmmm, how did he know that you squeeze a lime into the Corona bottle? Anyway, we toasted him and congratulated him on making it to the big 2-1. Once dinner was over, he wanted to buy a 6 pack of beer and be carded again. Really, do you have to do this? "Yes, mom, I want to buy a 6 pack and share it with my friends at the hotel. I am only going to have one beer. Remember, it's a work night." Ok, this time, he was not carded and was disappointed.

Wrapping the 6 pack in a bag, he asked me to carry it into the hotel so that the coaches do not see that he has beer. What am I...a mule? OK, I carried it in and handed it to him. Then he was off with the guys to have one more beer....so I thought.....

Yet, things never go as planned...right? As Tink and I were in REM sleep number 2, there was a knock on the door at 1:30 am. Can't he keep better hours?...."Mom....open the door..." And on to our next story......

"Mom, I need your advice...."
Sigh....what happened?

"Well....we were out with the team.....I was on my 6th or 7th beer...."
Hey, what happened to 1 and done?

"It was over several hours, then they threw me up on the bar with these girls who had microphones once they found out that it was my birthday. They said they wanted me to dance....so I did..."
OK, the picture in my mind was starting to focus a bit better and I see him dancing that crazy, seizure-like dance that he has developed over the years...

"Then the girl says to me...are you wearing underwear? I say...yes...."
Oh God, I know where this is going and I am not a big fan.....please, I pray that you made a good decision......

"Then she starts pulling my shorts off so that I would be dancing in my underwear. I yelled: 'hell, no!'.....I knew that someone would pull the underwear off so I jumped off the bar and told them to get off me...."
OK, good decision....I like it.....not crazy about the picture that I had in my mind...but keep going...

"I gulped down my beer and ran back to the hotel. I was really angry..."
I can see that....

"I knew that once the pants were off, everyone would take pictures and tweet them or post them on Facebook." Good logic.....

"How would it look for a future Attorney General to have these photos on the Internet?"
Not good, my son....although....there are some very odd pictures of Gary Hart circulating....
 
And as the birthday celebration came to a memorable end.......It was time to send him back to his room so that I could finish my dream about the warm beach...pina colada....cool breeze....zzzzzzz.....
more tomorrow...much more....oh, so much to share......

No comments:

Post a Comment