Sunday, September 21, 2014

Life in the fast lane

OH boy.....Am I in trouble....I have not posted in almost one week and the natives are getting restless. Can I whine a little?

No?

OK, then I won't BUT.....

School has started.....the students are anxious....lots of meetings....puppies are crazy....kids are nuts....and I am helping dad in the south with electricians and security experts....that's it....oh, by the way, September, albeit a gorgeous month in the northeast, is one of my busiest.

There are a few things to say before jumping into my BPM diatribe.....

"Happy birthday to dear friend Wildcat. She has to be one of my besties...ever....love ya girl.....the first time that I met her was on the tennis court in college. Since then, she has shared a number of ups and downs with me. Always a loyal friend.....I wish her the best that life has to offer...."



Second....."Congrats to Sparky and Baker. They were married in their gorgeous backyard last Sunday. The weather was perfect and the party was outstanding."



Glad that I got an invitation to that wedding.....Although.....

Another cousin is hosting a wedding for her daughter. I did not receive an invitation, so I figured that I was not "A" list...or that too many people were on the list.....or that she did not want me there. Anyway that I look at it, it did not matter. It was one less thing to worry about...NOT!

I was asked by Betty why I did not respond to the wedding invitation. Well,  a person cannot respond to a party that she was not invited to, right? Wrong. The invitation was never sent by the wedding planner but my name remains on the list as one of the deadbeats who did not RSVP.



OK, let me be clear. I always respond immediately to invitations like this because I know the enormous amount of time and expense that goes into having a party or wedding. What do I do? Do I contact my cousin and say "Gee, I never received an invitation and heard from Betty that I was actually invited and I would love to come..." Or, do I say to the wedding planner...

"Hey, whzzamatta u?"

Nope, my decision is to punt back to Betty who can help to clear the matter. I am cool with or without any invitation. No worries. Life is too short to obsess over a party list. Hey, I got pups to train.....

Speaking of which, the crate training has failed. They have decided....or maybe the little guy has decided that he will go piddle where ever he pleases...including his own home. Is he a frat boy?
On the other hand, if you dangle kibble in front of his sister, she is yours forever.....I guess that means that she is easy and I had better get them fixed as soon as they hit six months.

In the mean time, I have tried to teach them to give me their paw for a kibble....an abysmal failure....they ain't gonna do tricks for food...no way....

On to the big guy.....last you heard, he was sick...well, he got sicker....



On Tuesday, he was having trouble speaking and breathing. All I could think of was the epiglotitis that he had last year. Yes, the one that he needed to be admitted to the hospital. And so, after great debate, I decided with dad to run to campus and get him, and bring him home to the family doctor....oh wait! I have to teach a class from 1 to 3 pm.....but what if he has epigolitits and I can't get to him on time?

Oh, I have it. I will bring the students to class an hour early, buy them pizzas since they are missing lunch, and head to campus to pick the guy up to get him to the family doc.

The plan was flawless....right?

What actually happened was that I spoke to the students at 11 am when they were in another class and begged them to stay and not take a break. Knowing that this posed a hardship, I bought 6 pizzas and 30 soft pretzels for the 18 students. As I walked into the classroom, everyone was standing, eating pizza, and ready to go...except two students....

"Uh, Dr. BPM...do we have time to run to Dunkin Donuts?"




"Huh? we have pizzas....I am starting class....we will be done an hour early....no....you will miss the beginning of class. But it is your decision..."

Thinking that they would do the right thing....they left and went to DD!



I was shocked. I never would have left, but that's me....you know...uber-responsible me. In college, on Wednesdays, we went from 8 am to 4 pm without a lunch break. Talk about needing dunkin Donuts!

So, I started class and 30 minutes into it, they walk in with their fraps, grab pizza, and sit down. I am still shaking my head about this one....

After class, I thanked each student profusely for their flexibility and jumped into the car....pointed it north and began to drive....Guess what?

As I headed for the turnpike, I got a call not to come....so, I headed home...then dad called....."you should go...."

So, I turned the car around again....then the big kid called...."I'm going to be OK, so don't come...."

Then I put the car in reverse and dad called again...."Go!"



"Don't go"

"Go"

"Don't go."



Done....as I got the 8th "don't come...come...." call, I stopped at a mall and went in....time for retail therapy and to make the decision while not driving a car....After a few minutes, I called the kid and finally had a heart to heart.....

For an hour, I stood by the Banana Republic talking to a sick guy who seemed somewhat depressed.

"OK, what the stink is going on? Honesty. I want honest answers!"

"Well....I can't get going.....can't figure things out....exhausted...sick....I am going to break up with the girl friend just as you want...."

What! Break up? Because of me? Oh no.....I don't own this one. I have never said anything negative about this young lady, She is bright and hard working. She has goals and dreams and two jobs. I give her credit for hard work. I have never said anything to him because it's none of my business. If they are happy..so be it. If not...so be it....to get involved in your child's love life is a recipe for disaster. I am not walking into that pile of poo. No way.

"I thought that you did not like her...."

Huh? She's nice. And she smells good. She made him happy. What is there not to like? Oh, yeah, the distance. Long distance relationships never work out. Let me be clear...they never work out unless you are P Diddy and have a private plane. If you are a college student whose sofa is still in storage, then you are not the guy who will be successful in this type of relationship.



"Oh. OK, well I like her, mom. She listens to me and talks me off the ledge."

Dude, she's a girl friend. Not a therapist....

"I want to keep the relationship going..."

Great...no comment from me. Do what makes you happy....



After an hour, he felt better, planned on shaving and went to the library. Mom-therapy....that's all it took....

Still in the mall, I headed to Macy's to check out the clearance rank....had a coupon on my smart phone but never found anything that I really wanted so I headed home wondering what the heck happened to my day.....

And so, my friends....you now can see why I have not written and promise to be more diligent this weekend. Fall ball is heating up and so is the college party scene.....



More later!

Peace!

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